It All Changed In An Instant My "six-word" memoir was published in this book, alongside celebrities like Dave Barry, Sarah Silverman, and Yogi Berra. (And creeps like Dr. Oz, Michael Moore, and James Frey)
I'm out of the Army and I won't be censored any more! I'll provide you with:
Government Secrets that endanger the lives of our troops in action and provide aid and comfort to the enemies of the United States.
Pornography that violates every taboo: underage goats being milked, toilet cams, and LIVE NUDE GIRLS so young that they haven't even been born yet! If it's not illegal, I refuse to be titillated by it.
Celebrity sex tapes I made myself without the knowledge or consent of those appearing. Yes, I snuck into their houses at night and filmed them fornicating and afterwards, I wrote down the disgusting secrets they mumbled while they slept.
Hacks, cracks, phreaks and passwords. Zero-day WAREZ. People worked hard to create software. Now you can have it for free.
Devious and dubious bombmaking instructions. Not only will I give you step-by-step video instructions so easy even a simple-minded child could follow them, I'll sell you the materials and leave them somewhere where your parents won't find them.
Permission to yell "CROWD" in a fiery theater
Advocacy of the armed overthrow of the United States Government and free membership to extremist communist hate groups.
Threats against public figures, law enforcement officials and their extended families. PLUS - Download their medical records and maps to their houses.
Obscene caricatures of Mahomet and defacement of the religious texts of every creed except my own.
Counterfeit money you can print right off the web page.
A chat room where perverted pre-teens can meet sexy undercover police agents.
Libelous gossip about your neighbors OR Upload your own into our database.
Hundreds of spam messages a day, PLUS
No expense will be spared or law left unbroken. I flout the Hays Motion Picture Code, the Communications Decency Act and the Mann Act. In fact, just by reading this, you've already violated numerous federal and state statutes, so you might as well keep going. In addition, every hit this webpage gets helps fund arms traffickers and diamond smugglers. How can I do this? This website is hosted from an offshore drilling platform in international waters which I took over with an army of Somalian pirates, Mexican drug-gang enforcers, Russian mafia members with access to stolen nuclear weapons, skinhead bikers who just escaped from prison and of course, Israeli prostitutes with computer engineering backgrounds who do all the coding. Your laws mean nothing to me!